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March 15, 2022<\/p>\nMarch 15, 2022<\/p>\n
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My occupation is now \u201cretired\u201d after being on long-term disability for years.\u00a0 Child rearing is over. From time to time, the question surfaces, \u201cWhat do you do all day?\u201d<\/p>\n
Now that\u2019s one of those questions that can be tricky to answer, like the question, \u201cHow do you feel?\u201d\u00a0 It depends on who\u2019s asking and what mood you\u2019re currently in.\u00a0 It\u2019s
\na judgment call.<\/p>\n
If it\u2019s a casual acquaintance, I give them a few of the basics:\u00a0I rest intermittently, exercise or swim, read, write, and volunteer when I can.\u00a0 One of those subjects will usually switch the conversation toward another direction.\u00a0 There is no sense in getting into the details of what a typical day is really like; it would probably make them uncomfortable, speechless, and sorry they asked.<\/p>\n
Besides, everyone throughout their life has something of their own to deal with.\u00a0Or, getting too specific about what I do can lead into unwanted conversation.\u00a0 For example, there are the people who want to give advice about all kinds of things, which can get annoying if they really do not understand MS.\u00a0 And then there are the \u201cone-uppers\u201d; who are more interested telling a personal story that is far worse than your situation.<\/p>\n
But occasionally, someone asks me that question in a way with a certain tone that will get a rise out of me. \u00a0\u201cSo, what do <\/em>you do all day?\u201d\u00a0 \u00a0Even when I used a cane, then a walker, and now a wheelchair; I usually \u201clook so good\u201d and am smiling and perky.\u00a0 I keep busy, rarely complaining.\u00a0 It\u2019s like they\u2019re wondering why I got disability from the government or why I don\u2019t want to go out somewhere.<\/p>\n Like most people with MS, I do things on my own as much as possible and strive to maintain independence. But that sometimes can backfire on me. It conveys a message that \u201cI can do it; all is well\u2026\u201d Then if superwoman starts to fall apart, I\u2019m asked \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong<\/em> with you?\u201d<\/p>\n We folks with MS endure invisible things like the fatigue, depression, numbness, and weakness that make life complicated.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t matter whether we are in a wheelchair or not. We have kids and grandkids, chores to do, errands to run, households to maintain, finances to manage.\u00a0 Life without a chronic illness is challenging\u00a0enough.\u00a0 Throw in MS and the time and energy it takes to do a task double or triples. Often, many things get done differently, partly, or not at all.<\/p>\n But how do you explain all this?\u00a0 Should you try?\u00a0 Do they really want to know? \u00a0If you think so, maybe take the opportunity to say, \u201cnot as much as I\u2019d like, I can use some help.\u201d Or is it easier to just say one thing, and then ask in return \u201cWhat do you<\/em> do all day?\u201d<\/p>\n Again, it\u2019s a judgement call.<\/p>\n Debbie Petrina <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" March 15, 2022 My occupation is now \u201cretired\u201d after being on long-term disability for years.\u00a0 Child rearing is over. From time to time, the question surfaces, \u201cWhat do you do all day?\u201d Now that\u2019s one of those questions that can … Continue reading
\nAuthor of Managing MS<\/a>
\nCommunity Advocate for MultipleSclerosis.net\u00a0<\/em>
\nwww.DebbieMS.com<\/a><\/p>\n